Self Sabotage

I've spent the better half of my life doubting myself. Doubting that I was good enough, smart enough, funny enough, pretty enough, liked enough, skinny enough, you name it enough. It's a habit I picked up some where along the way and one thats held me back from reaching a lot of goals in this life. It's a habit I think a lot of people carry around that keeps them from opening up to the possibility of their fullest potential.

I've spent time telling myself "this is just how I am." That I wasn't born to be special. That I'm just not creative. "Maybe I have no passions." "Maybe I'm not meant to be great but at least I'm good enough." "Maybe ordinary and mediocre is all thats in the cards for me." Maybe you've felt it too?

I'm calling bullshit. Bullshit on the negativity we've picked up and made part of our persona along the way. Bullshit on the constraints of society that have sent you the message that your life isn't worth anything more than a paycheck. That your life isn't meant to be spent living out your dreams. Bullshit on whatever moments in your life that have driven you to hold onto your negative self talk for dear life.

I play this fun game with myself where I set a goal, write a list, make a plan, and let the fire of inspiration fuel me for a period of time. That is, until my self doubt creeps in and becomes the hose to inevitably extinguish my own flame. I shy away from the hard work that its going to take to be successful and hide in the comfort of never disappointing myself if I never really try in the first place.

Time goes by and the itch comes back to make a change. The nagging feeling that something isn't quite right. Oh yea...theres that list of dreams I wrote down a few months back that I decided to hide from myself because I was scared. The cycle starts all over again.

The thing I often fail to recognize is the bits of progress that I do make & the inspired action that I do take often add up to something without me even realizing. It is hard for me to sink my teeth into the fact that doing something is more than doing nothing and a little something everyday adds up to a lot of something down the line.

I've been having a hard week with all the ideas I have surrounding this business and life I want to build. I've been extra hard on myself for not being further along than I think I should be. And for not having all the answers to the questions that are piling up in my mind about how to succeed here. I feel overwhelmed by the unknown that lies on the other side of launching this business. I often look at the people I deem successful and choose to ignore the building they also had to do to get where they are. As if that success is for them and isn't in the cards for me. That somehow they've been granted a greater life than the one I've been given. Have you ever thought that? No? Just me? I don't think so.

It is so important to stop and realize that whatever it is we want in this life, it doesn't all happen over night, and thats ok. Building something worthwhile takes time, and thats ok. Making a huge life change is scary, and thats ok. You have to take time to rest, and breathe, and play, and thats ok. But the only thing harder than it taking what feels like forever to get where it is you're trying to go is never moving at all.

We put so much pressure on ourselves to constantly be producing it makes it nearly impossible to appreciate the progress we've made from the inspired actions we have taken. I became a yoga teacher four months ago. I decided I wanted to start making and selling Mala Beads at that teacher training retreat. At that point this entire thing that I wanted out of life was only an idea. Something i'd maybe do someday. And in four months i've built (most of) a website. I've taught yoga classes. I've sold more Mala Beads than I ever thought anyone would really be interested in. I created a Mala Making workshop that people actually signed up for. And I am continuously taking steps every chance I get towards the goals that were simply ideas four months ago.

In the future, do you want to look back and admire all the work you've put in to get where you are going? Or, do you want to look back and regret all the action you didn't take out of the fear of failing. Kicking yourself for all the time that has passed since you first realized you had a dream; and all you could have been doing in the time you spent telling yourself how unrealistic it all is.

Stop for a minute and think about something you truly want to accomplish, literally anything. Your dreams are important no matter how big or small you think they might be. Have you taken steps lately in creating those dreams in your reality? Appreciate those small steps because they are moving you forward into your future. Have you started to pay attention to your dreams but haven't started to take action yet? Thats ok too. Every positive thought about what you want to create in this life is part of the manifestation process of your reality. But don't wait forever.

Make a list, create a plan, find the fire in your belly to create. Use that fire to move forward and don't be the hose that puts out your own flame.

If this hit home for you. Send me an e-mail ( and lets talk about your dreams. I'm a really good hype woman and I promise you it feels really fucking cool to say them out loud.

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